You have got to ‘Lurv the French’!

car-keysBonjour…Ca Va…??

It has often been said/thought by many, that ‘If I had a brain, I would be seriously bl**dy dangerous’…!!!…..

….and today is absolutely nay exception….!!!

…..This morning I nipped to the village to grab some diluting juice for the children that are coming with their parents for the neighbours ‘Afternoon Tea Portes Ouvertes’ that starts from 3pm today…….

Anyway, I nipped into village, parked up my mates borrowed 4×4 in the car park, threw the key into the middle consul, jumped out of said borrowed mates 4×4, closed the door and started to walk away…then realising this was not my 4×4 decided to go back and take the key with me…and yes, you’ve guessed it…the doors were ALL bl**dy firmly bolted & locked tight…!!!….

It is a wonder they didnay hear me swearing on another continent…!!!

….Crumbs did I feel a right bl**dy plonker…!!!(nothing new there, I am hearing you say…!!!)…

…Soooooooo, I stood there next to the firmly bolted said 4×4 and swore for all of 3.33 minutes… then decided I needed to do someat pretty damn quick…(The bread was a burnin’ in the oven back at my new home…!!!)…

..Sooooo, after much further deliberation (and swearing) I nipped into the nearest Bar-Tabac and explained in very faltering appalling French (to the owners) my plight and predicament…(And yes you guessed absolutely right again…the clientele of mainly men could not decide if my stupidity was due to me be a stupid woman or more importantly because I was a stupid ‘British’ woman…!!!)……

……Well…I politely asked if there was a taxi service (on Sunday…!!! much hilarity and merriment at that request…!!!) I needed to be the taxi to run me home to rescue my burnin’ bread….the locals in the Bar-Tabac were having none of that…!!!

742 of them (slight exaggeration there…but there were quite a lot..!!! offered to drive me home…. I could nay believe it,the whole place erupted with offers and being typically men they all had a different route to achieve the burnin’ bread rescue…!!! and would you believe I arrived safely home not 10 minutes later than I would have been under me own steam…!!!….although I was in tally with 3 different men, who promptly rescued the non burnin’ bread & subsquently devoured a full Afternoon Tea for their troubles (and then, would you further believe they all insisted on paying for it…!!! they would not hear of me giving it gratuit…!!!)…

Needless to say I have now appointed all 3 of these delightful true gentlemen the estimed positions of Chief Marketing Officers for the promotion of ‘La Maison Hirondelles Tearoom/Restaurant with Rooms’….

Sooooo… I am sat here with me Nescaf and me rollie ‘contemplatin’ my navel’ as to what actually ‘appened….and I have just had a bl**dy brainwave (As you know I am often caught short in the brainwave department…!!!…and my brainwave is… next week at the appointed hour I will try the very same sad tale again with a different Bar-Tabac…!!!……….(me thinks it would be one original way of selling these Afternoon Teas…..!!!

Further contemplation led me to the thought that I would like to think that if that had ‘appened in the UK the locals would have been just as obliging…

…but me thinks possibly not….!!!…

(Mainly because as a Fat, Ugly, Old and Wrinkly ‘Scarey’ woman they would most probably turn a deaf ear & blind eye to my plight…

You have got to ‘Lurv The French’…!!!

A bientot

By @Madame-Scarecrow

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3 Responses

  1. Fruitcake
    | Reply

    Brilliant! That’ll teach you to leave your bread to it’s own devices! Doesn’t it restore your faith in human nature? God luv ’em. :rose:

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    • 'Scarey'
      | Reply

      Living in France ‘Fruitcake’ totally & utterly restored my faith in human nature…Don’t you just lurv the French…

      A Bientot

      ‘Scarey’

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  2. marion
    | Reply

    so how did you get the 4×4 back ?

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